While surfing tumblr in school I saw this... Yes I know shouldn't do that but I was trying to find a picture for my desktop since they gave everyone one a place in the school server now :P But anyway, it got me thinking of someone. My ex. What? Did I just called him ex? From day one I met him I never thought I would be called that....

Later on I talked to my amazing new friend Raif who had help me through alot. Its kinda funny how he was there to comfort me but then things turn and I comfort him instead. We've both went through the same crap at around the same time... I kept telling him how people grieve differently and how it'll be hard for a certain amount of time and yes. You have to grief. It's only human. Then I realise for myself I never gave me time to grief. Not a tear, not a text, not a word. I felt like I just wanted to move one and so I did. For all this time, I've been trying to put on the 'happy' face mask. Like the 'put it in a box. shove it away. it'll never come back' kinda thing. 

Well, it doesnt work that way which is the reason why I'm ranting now. I'll have to admit my feelings weren't so deep for him when we started. You could say that it was puppy love. I don't know why but only after we broke did I realise I do care about what happens to him. I do care if he did make his sport club's football team. I do care if he fail or passed his test. It wasn't like: HE FAIL MUAHAHAH or OMG WHEN HE GET SO SMART kinda thing. Its more of a I just needed to know to feel safe. Which this quote explains quite well actually.... 

It clicked to me when I try to retrace back. We talk alot. or I would say used to. We would chat till late night about random stuff or in the morning he would send me a message. I think having that taken away was sort of a little weird which I think is the reason why people get into relationships. Because they'll be there for you. People have other reasons as well but thats just what I say. And just to set the record stright, I'm not the 'all guys are arseholes because one of them broke my heart' kinda girl. I know every guys is different and so are girls. I'm just trying to tell my story here.. 

 As for me, if you ask..the reason I'm single now is simple 

 a) studies 

b) I'm friend-zoned prone

c)  love and support from my family 

So yeah to sum up, this is me: 

And this part for raif :P I know it's hard. You've been through more than I do and you always take the good rather than bad which is why I respect you. You always have no problem when I need someone to listen to my problems even when its just simple bullcrap xD As for her, it's never easy to get over someone you have your heart set to. Just give it time kay buddy? Smile and the rest will go away sooner than you think. Its called the past for a reason. As for why, I cant tell you but I'm sure you'll find a girl one day that will be the simple reason why all your other one never worked out. And as for being one of good guys:

Don't change yourself to get someone. If you're gonna be in a relationship with someone, might as well they love you for who you are. Because if your family can, I don't see why others can't. And if you can't be yourself around them, is it even an honest relationship? 

Plus, the majesty of unicorn is awesome the way he is ;)

Okay? I know your stronger than you think 

and thanks sooo much like a trillion times infinity for getting me a dream catcher (: Love it! 

ALL TO EVERYONE ELSE THIS IS WHY WE DO WHAT WE DO